It’s finally time to cover episode two of the Super Mario Bros. Super Show!, which, as I explained in my last update, is mysteriously listed third in the DVD menu.

Live-Action Plot: Patty, the sad-eyed (yet mysteriously clean and well dressed) orphan, arrives at the Mario Bros’ office looking for the adult attention absent in her life. It’s Patty’s birthday, and the Mario’s scrape together all the cash they can to throw her the party of a lifetime. The Marios spring for the food, balloons, VCR, and “high-definition” television Patty demands, all before beginning to realize this young girl might not be who she says she is. Patty’s parents eventually show up to rescue the brothers from this con-artist.

Very Special Guest: Patty is played by (then) Wonder Years star, Danica McKellar. Danica has gone on to get really hot, be voted by Stuff magazine’s readers as the “’90s star they would most like to see in lingerie,” graduate Summa cum Laude from UCLA with a degree in Mathematics, write several children’s books about math, and have a guest spot on Big Bang Theory.

Animated Plot: The brothers wander into the kingdom of Cramalot, where Koopa has taken over. The Marios, along with Toadstool, Toad, and new friend Mervin the Magician, take the fight to the tyrannical turtle, ultimately dethroning him.

Horrible Stereotype Alert: This episode feels a little lighter on Italian stereotype jokes, but it really ramps up the fat jokes. We have Mario’s desire for a “mozzarella milkshake,” and Mario rejecting the position of king (king… of a whole kingdom) because one of the requirements is to exercise and be fit. Maybe he didn’t think he could do it. After all, dude never stops running and jumping, yet remains mysteriously rotund.