Microsoft’s E3 2012 press conference will be held at 9:30AM Pacific Daylight Time on June 4, 2012. That’s 10:30AM for those of us waking up at the crack of dawn here in the Mountain Time Zone. The event can be viewed live right here, but for those of you who prefer your news in bite-sized text format, I will be live blogging the whole thing right on this page and on Twitter.

11:03 And that’s it! Conference ends with a nice nap for everyone.

11:01 CoD Blops demo still rolling… unbelievably dull close to this thing.

10:51 One last blockbuster… first, and with exclusive content, for 360, Call of Duty Black Ops 2.

10:50 Don Mattrick is giving it up for Usher “and crew.” A time and en-enter a tainment. He’s falling apart.

10:49 Ooh baby baby.

10:47 I kid you not, Usher is on stage. E3’s all time low. We are witnesses to history.

10:46 And here’s Dance Central 3. Oh good, Usher worked on it so you know it’s legit.

10:43 Trey Parker and Matt Stone mock inter-device connectivity.

10:41 And here’s the South Park RPG.

10:40 Wreckateer is some kind of 3D Angry Birds.

10:38 Alex Ruiz. The first woman on stage all day. Wreckateer “Sounds pretty rad to me.” Urgh.

10:37 Cover system in RE6. Current gen, why have you forsaken us?

10:35 Leon’s talking BSA agents. Revelations’ story relevant!

10:33 Capcom is here to rescue Microsoft with Resident Evil 6. Leon, you are a sexy man.

10:32 And Gore Verbinski presents… Marble Madness. I mean Matter.

10:31 I am supposed to be excited by a motorcycle. LocoCycle.

10:30 Ascend New Gods is a thing that is being shown. Looks pathetic after Tomb Raider.

10:28 Phil is back to put this disaster to rest. THREE WORLD PREMIER EXCLUSIVES. I will hold you to this, Phil.

10:25 Tomb Raider looks great, but this is just a repeat of the only interesting thing shown last year. And it’s the only interesting thing shown this year too. This conference is the dullest I’ve ever seen.

10:23 Crystal Dynamics is here to save us with Tomb Raider.

10:20 So far, we’ve seen ads for Nike, Prometheus, Aston Martin, music, Sherlock Holmes, NBA, NHL, and UFC. You will have games at your games conference, right Microsoft?

10:19 Internet Explorer will be on 360 this year. But does it let me download Firefox?

10:17 So with Smart Glass, you can look at inconsequential garbage on your mobile devices while trying to watch a movie.

10:15 XBox does not respond to fat guy. Finally, something bad enough to be funny.

10:13 XBox smart glass for MS, Apple, Google devices does… something.

10:12 Sweet relief, Nike is gone and a chubby dude is here to tell me about things to play on screens.

10:10 Everybody is an athlete… according to guy who wants to sell you athletic gear.

10:08 So I heard you fat asses love sports…

10:07 Yusuf proud to announce Kinect fitness deal with… Nike.

10:05 Microsoft’s new XBox Music will provide 30 million tracks to PC, smartphones and tablets.

10:02 NBA and NHL will be on XBox. Bro out, bros. Crowd cheers for NBA, stifles a choke for NHL.

10:01 Now you can watch Machinima on your XBox. Can’t wait to watch other people play games on my video game console.

10:00 The crowd just cheared for Yusuh talking to himself in Spanish. How deep is gaming media in Microsoft’s pocket?

10:00 Yusuf Mehdi demoing entertainment search. You’ll be able to tell your 360 what you want to watch by genre or title, and it’ll bring it up for you.

9:56 And here’s some Forza. Really hitting the bros hard this year, maybe Microsoft learned from the hate.

9:55 World premier of new Gears of War Judgement… guess it wasn’t over. This is the bro-est music.

9:54 Phil Spencer claims “only the best games are on XBox.” I have my doubts.

9:53 Another trailer, dude playing with fireballs… Fable: The Journey is coming holiday 2012.

9:51 Joe Montana is talking to players in game, and they’re responding to his calls. Not bad.

9:50 Madden 13 supposedly represents giga-leap in gameplay innovation. Joe Montana is about to prove otherwise.

9:49 Madden and Fifa are about to get “better with Kinect.” Sorry, I mean “better” with Kinect.

9:48 Andrew Wilson of EA Sports hits the stage.

9:48 Spring 2013 for Blacklist. Sorry, no 720 just yet.

9:45 Apparently Blacklist gets the same interminable demo that most bro-core games do at MS conferences. Kinect voice recognition allows you to talk to, distract guards.

9:43 Always happy to hear Québécois accents represented on stage.

9:42 More gameplay. Some grimy dudes are hurting each other. Ubisoft presents… Splinter Cell Blacklist.

9:40 XBox to be brought to phones and tablets. WHAT DOES IT MEAN, DON?

9:39 Crowd just cheered to hear 360 is the world’s best selling console. I’m concerned for our collective mental health.

9:38 YES. Don Mattrick has taken the stage. Finally, some personality.

9:35 Master Chief and his army of bros will be shooting at aliens. INNOVATION.

9:33 Global Media Briefing begins with a trailer. Live action acting on sci-fi setting… Halo obviously.

9:26 Sound is go!!!! Announcer lady has given the five minute warning. Just a little break-up music plays to get us going.

9:22 The show will begin in just a few minutes! Settle in, this should be a long sloppy mix of Kinect titles and bro-core fan service.

E3 2012 Microsoft Conference Liveblog – Over