Sony’s E3 press conference will be held on June 6, 2011 at 5:00 P.M. PST. The company has the NGP scheduled for release at the end of 2011, so plenty on that can be expected, but what else?
Please enjoy the following 30-point list of what I expect from Sony’s conference. Note that although I divide these predictions up between the “very likely,” “likely,” and “nigh-impossible,” they are all my predictions. Being the impeccable prognosticator that I am, I expect them all to come true in just a few short weeks.
- PSN downtime completely ignored
- NGP release date announced
- Little Big Planet NGP shown, playable on show floor
- Uncharted NGP shown, playable on show floor
- Wipeout NGP shown, playable on show floor
- Mass Effect 3 shown
- Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception shown, playable on show floor
- Final Fantasy XIII-2 shown, not playable anywhere
- Final Fantasy Versus XIII vanishes
- Kaz Hirai is dreamy
- Quality of PSN touted without hint of irony
- NGP’s name is… PSP2
- Final Fantasy XV announced, FFXIV no where in sight
- Silence on Kingdom Hearts 3 is deafening
- Last Guardian is still on its way, they swear
- Promise that PSP still has some life in it
- PSP promoted with either Star Wars and/or something racially insensitive
- NGP price announced
- NGP is $300+
- Kevin Butler battles real-life doppelganger Jack Tretton to the simulated death in a game demo.
- Meaningless NGP hardware stats shown, put audience to sleep
- Meaningless PSP sales stats from Japan shown, impress no one
- Arbitrarily hired celebrity demonstrates game awkwardly
- Bungie’s new game is demoed for PS3 (suck it, Microsoft)
- PS4 hinted at
- PS4 announced for 2013
- PS4 is two PS3s duct-taped together with Move thrown in
- Use of NGP and/or PSP as PS3 controllers sloppily demonstrated, Sony calls it innovation (don’t let Nintendo’s conference the following day fool you)
- Everyone pretends Move doesn’t exist
- Kevin Butler actually battles Jack Tretton to the death.