E3 2011: Predictions for Microsoft’s Conference

Image:Adapted from E3 2010 Xbox 360 Kinect Your Shape Fitness Evolved demo booth by popculturegeek.com under a CC-BY license.

Microsoft’s E3 press conference will be held on June 6, 2011 at 9:00 A.M. PST. The company doesn’t have any known new hardware on the way, so expect plenty of software talk for the 360, and especially Kinect.

I realize that’s all pretty obvious, and pretty vague, so I’ve assembled the following 30-point list of predictions for Microsoft’s show. I’ve divided them between “very likely,” “likely,” and “nigh-impossible,” but I stand behind all of them. I can hardly wait these last few days to be proven right on what I have foretold here.

You can also see my predictions for Nintendo’s E3 2011 conference here and my predictions for Sony’s conference here.

Very Likely

  1. Frequent jokes at the expense of PSN downtime
  2. Star Wars Kinect shown
  3. Kinect dudebro shooter revealed
  4. Dance Central 2 shown, playable on show floor
  5. Kinect Sports 2 shown, playable on show floor
  6. Gears of War 3 media blowout
  7. Forza 4 shown, playable on show floor
  8. Halo CE remake announced for 360
  9. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 shown, playable on show floor
  10. Conference hosted by nameless space marine, Microsoft’s E3 presenter is also company’s favourite video game mascot

Likely

  1. PSN downtime celebrated by another X-Box Live price hike
  2. More 360 SKUs on their way
  3. Kinect games demoed by various precocious children and awkward celebrities
  4. Final Fantasy XIII-2 is coming to 360! No one knows when!
  5. Hideo Kojima shows up to demo a new Metal Gear Solid game but gives no indication of when it will be released
  6. Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim shown
  7. Mass Effect 3 shown
  8. BioShock Infinite shown
  9. Halo 4 teaser shown
  10. Peter Molyneux demos new Kinect game he’s working on, touts features everyone just kind of understands won’t be in final release

Nigh-Impossible

  1. X-Box 720 hinted at
  2. It’s coming in 2012
  3. Free 720s for all in attendance
  4. Steve Ballmer is there, and he literally explodes
  5. Jallard rises from the ashes to unveil Microsoft’s newest device: a tablet/portable gaming device combo
  6. Rare’s newest game is a sad effort to rekindle the magic the company once held
  7. It’s a new Killer Instinct game!
  8. Gears of War 3 info empowers dudes to bro out so hard they begin a brovolution
  9. Bros march across the face of the Earth, leaving crushed beer cans and salty snacks wherever they go
  10. The dudes inherit the Earth
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